A Tangled Web of Conflicting Intrigues
Reviews and Comments by Ken Burke
I invite you to join me on a regular basis to see how my responses to current cinematic offerings compare to the critical establishment, which I’ll refer to as either the CCAL (Collective Critics at Large) if they’re supportive or the OCCU (Often Cranky Critics Universe) when they go negative. However, due to COVID concerns I’m mostly addressing streaming options with limited visits to theaters, where I don’t think I’ve missed much anyway, but better options are on the horizon. (Note: Anything in bold blue below [or near purple] is a link to something in the above title or the review.)
My reviews’ premise: “You can’t please everyone, so you got to please yourself.”
(from "Garden Party" by Rick Nelson and the Stone Canyon Band, 1972 album of the song’s name)
However, if you’d like to know more about rationale of my ratings visit this explanatory site.
11/20/2025: Due to a big variety of upcoming conflicts for me including Thanksgiving preparations and the annual indulgence by Nina and me in The Godfather trilogy, Film Reviews from Two Guys in the Dark will be dark next week but will return in early December.
Here’s the trailer:
(Use the full screen button in the image’s lower right to enlarge its size;
activate the same button or use “esc” keyboard key to return to normal.)
If you can abide plot spoilers read on, but this blog’s intended for those who’ve seen the film or want to save some $ (as well as recognizing those readers like me who just aren’t that tech-savvy). To help any of you who want to learn more details yet avoid these all-important plot-reveals I’ll identify any give-away sentences/sentence-clusters with colors plus arrows:
⇒The first and last words will be noted with arrows and red.⇐ OK, now continue on if you prefer.
WHAT HAPPENS: Argentina, May 1983, during the harsh military dictatorship of the Dirty War political prisoner Valentin Arregui Paz (Diego Luna) is joined in his prison cell by gay window dresser Luis Molina (Tonatiuh), convicted of public indecency, who soon finds dedicated revolutionary Valentin to have nothing in common with him (except they’re both male, although Molina wants to be a woman further angering Valentin); finally, to help distract from the misery of his situation Valentin agrees to listen to Molina’s recitation of his favorite Hollywood musical, also called Kiss of the Spider Woman (Valentin doesn’t like this genre either, seeing it as cheap escapism for the deluded masses), starring Latina spitfire Ingrid Luna—La Luna (Jennifer Lopez)—as Aurora, bored publisher of South America’s top fashion magazine until she meets Armando (also played by Diego Luna, just as her closeted gay assistant, Kendall Nesbitt, is another role played by Tonatiuh), a famous photographer, who invites her to accompany him back to the near-jungle village where they were both born. (Molina’s movie is active and colorful, like the lavish 1940s musicals it alludes to, in contrast of color, lighting, and character attitudes to the sad prison cell of Molina and Valentin.)
The Aurora story comes and goes as Valentin becomes more interested, but the main plot twist is Molina was purposely put in this cell in hopes he could befriend tight-lipped Valentin to reveal anything about his comrades and their plans, yet even though a friendship does grow between the men Valentin keeps his info to himself to protect both of them except he admits he has a lover on the outside, Marta (also Lopez), who he’s struggling to be comfortable with as she’s still within the bourgeoisie. Both men are separately fed poisoned food, but their resolve is maintained even as the warden allows a fine box of edibles to be delivered so they share a feast. In the movie we find Aurora and Armando in love, but their village is protected by the deadly Spider Woman (her kiss brings death) in exchange for an annual sacrifice of a woman’s lover; they visit her (Lopez again) where Armando is to be her victim until Kendall suddenly sacrifices himself instead. ⇒Back in the prison Molina is freed in hopes he’ll accidently lead police to Valentin’s buddies, so the night before he leaves the 2 men have sex. Valentin does tell Molina some info to share in a phone call which he does, leading to him being joined by a Valentin associate; suddenly they have to run from soldiers with Molina shot by other Valentin folks who mistakenly think he led the heat to them as they drive away (as he dies Molina has a brief dream of himself with Valentin, then the Spider Woman). Valentin’s grief-stricken when he learns of Molina’s death in a newspaper left in his cell, but by October the junta’s overthrown, Valentin and many others finally freed from their cruel captivity.⇐
SO WHAT? This latest rendition of Kiss of the Spider Woman is adapted from a musical stage play of the same name from 1992 (book Terrence McNally, music John Kander, lyrics Fred Ebb, winning Tony awards for Best Musical, Score, and Lead Actress Chita Rivera [Kander and Ebb also provided the songs for the stage versions of Cabaret in 1966—adapted to cinema by Bob Fosse in 1972, winning several Oscars—and Chicago in 1975—adapted to cinema by Rob Marshall in 2002, winning the Best Picture Oscar]), itself adapted from the original Miguel Puig novel1 from 1976 with Puig himself adapting his unique book to a stage play (1982)—all of these using this same title.
1Puig's unusual novel is a fascinating book which you might want to explore sometime with the warning that it’s in a Modernist style with no narrator, just chapters mostly of dialogue forcing you to determine from context who’s speaking when, along with police reports on Molina, and extensive, lengthy reality-based footnotes resembling my previous academic articles (more on that just below).
But wait! There’s additional distracting stuff from me to fill up your day, so read on ... and on ... .2
2Further, there is a marvelous 1985 film adaptation from Puig’s book (although I’ve never seen either of the stage versions to compare it to), also (of course) called Kiss of the Spider Woman (Hector Babenco), for which William Hurt won the Best Actor Oscar; as with the 2025 ... Spider Woman and both plays only one of Molina’s recalled movies finds its way into the 1985 film, even though in the book he recounts 6 of them, with a brief fever-dream by Valentine (Raul Julia) in which he imagines himself free and healthy with Marta, there played by Sonia Braga who also appeared briefly as the Spider Woman (in a short recitation by Molina) and as the WW II French Resistance woman, Leni Jamaison, seen extensively in Molina’s telling of a Nazi propaganda movie where she falls in love with a Nazi military officer, tragically dies. Years ago, when I was writing more serious academic journal articles I did an extensive study of the 1985 film focusing on the impact of leaving out all the other Molina movies except the Leni story. I can’t attach the PDF version of it here, but if you do a search for Ken Burke, “Adapting Kiss of the Spider Woman: Every Picture Tells a Story” in the Journal of Visual Literacy January 2010 (Volume 29, Number 2) pp. 106-128 you can find it at this site; however, you’ll also find that unless you work at a college with a library subscription to this journal you’d have to pay $56 to buy a download copy of it; yet (and please don’t tell the nice folks at the JVL, who were supportive enough to publish several of my writings including some listed in the References of the "Adapting Kiss …" article), you can download a free copy of it at this site, which should either provide further background for the 2025 film or serve as a sleep aid.
I must admit when I found this latest version of ,,, Spider Woman to be a musical (not knowing then it was taken from such a structure on the Broadway stage) I was skeptical this intense tale of social ostracization and political repression could tolerate the addition of music (“I’ve been poisoned / Oh me, oh my / Just my luck / I’m gonna die.”). But I should have remembered that musicals can incorporate song and dance in conjunction with weighty subjects, as I know from Cabaret, Chicago, and their marvelous predecessor, West Side Story (Robert Wise and Jerome Robbins, 1961)—winner of 11 Oscars including Best Picture, Director, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, Adapted Screenplay (after all, even if you take the music away you still have Romeo and Juliet)—all of which show how musicals can be successfully connected to serious themes. I was relieved to see that the musical numbers in the new ... Spider Woman are mostly within Molina’s movie about Aurora or a few instances when he (or Valentin) share a fantasy with La Luna (a few numbers that take literal place within the prison have eliminated [Thank you, Mr. Condon.] while a few new ones have been added to the stage play’s collection). Ultimately, the music—while it’s not as overwhelming to me as are many of the numbers in the musicals I’ve just cited—either underscores the intended difference between the movie musical and the miserable existence Molina and Valentin endure in prison or shows how La Luna serves as a role model for Molina, giving him hope he could someday at least impersonate the superbly-attractive feminine qualities he finds in her. More importantly, this new film successfully retains what I find so effective in Barbenco’s 1985 film as Molina and Valentin overcome their distances, form an enduring bond. If, like Valentin (and me, much of the time) you’re not enthused by musicals you might prefer to simply ignore Condon’s version in favor of a visit to Barbenco’s presentation (5 stars if I were actually reviewing it), but, nevertheless, there’s much to admire and be moved by in the new Kiss …, so I encourage you to give it your serious consideration.
BOTTOM LINE FINAL COMMENTS: The 2025 Kiss of the Spider Woman opened in domestic (U.S.-Canada) theaters on October 10, 2025 in its widest release of 1,331 venues (now in a mere 3 of them) with a tiny gross so far of $1.6 million (worldwide a bit more at $1.7 million) so if you want to see it you’ll most likely turn to streaming where for $14.95 you can rent it from Amazon Prime Video or Apple TV. You’ll find, though, that just like the new version of Frankenstein [2025] (Guillermo del Toro), I’m considerably more in support of this … Spider Woman than the CCAC: Rotten Tomatoes positive reviews 77%, Metacritic average score 65% (for the 1985 film their respective totals are 87%, 80%). Sharing my strong support we have Odie Henderson of The Boston Globe: As writer and director, Condon does a commendable job of handling the film’s tonal shifts from gruesome real-life brutality to musical flights of fancy shot in gorgeous Technicolor. […] The film propels his three leads through a history of movie musicals that any diehard lover of the genre would recognize. There are flashes of Fosse, a modicum of Vincente Minnelli, and a soupçon of Stanley Donen. We’re reminded of Judy Garland in ‘Summer Stock’ and Fred Astaire in ‘The Band Wagon.’ […] As for Lopez, this is the star turn she was born to play. She makes Sergio Trujillo’s choreography look effortless. Her looks range from the extreme Louise Brooks bob of her spider-costumed title character to a coif so blonde that it glows. She leads a veritable fashion show, and she nails every song in what is often considered a lesser Kander and Ebb score. [¶] Watching J. Lo make movie magic for the captive audience on both sides of the screen reminded me why I watch movies, and how revisiting my favorite films has kept me sane and happy in this bitter little world.”
From a less-supportive perspective, though, is Elisabeth Vincentelli of The New York Times: “Both Molina and ValentÃn are now wholly sympathetic, and the screenplay is more sentimental about the relationship between the two prisoners, which was shaded with calculation in the earlier renditions. [¶] But who are we kidding? A huge draw of ‘Spider Woman’ is to see Jennifer Lopez set her phaser to ‘diva’ and fire away in numbers designed to look as if they had been made on the old MGM lot. […] At least Condon captures the dancers’ full bodies and emphasizes long, or longish, takes, which helps Sergio Trujillo’s choreography take over the full screen, as it should. Some numbers feel like direct shout-outs to the ‘Girl Hunt’ ballet from ‘The Band Wagon’ and ‘Broadway Melody’ from ‘Singin’ in the Rain,’ with Lopez swanning through the flamboyantly artificial sets. For the most part, though, the X factor of elegance, sensuality and verve that made MGM musicals so memorable is missing here. You want to give an encouraging grade for effort, but effort is also the last thing you want to see in a musical.” Whether you’d agree with the naysayers or not, I do think you’d find it fascinating how this new Kiss … follows the tactic used with Lopez to also put Luna and Tonatiuh in multiple roles (like Braga in 1985), although I was too dense to realize that despite my observant wife, Nina, insisting that’s the case until I finally saw the cast list. Something she didn’t have to convince me about, though, is the use of my ending Musical Metaphor, “I Shall Be Released” (found on the 1971 album Bob Dylan’s Greatest Hits Vol. II) at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0pkHBVznLA&list=RDE0pkHBVznLA&start_radio=1 featuring relevant lyrics like “Standing next to me in this lonely crowd / Is a man who swears he’s not to blame / All day long I hear him shout so loud / Crying out that he was framed / I see my light come shining / From the west unto the east / Any day now, any day now / I shall be released.” Molina and Valentin are each ultimately released in their separate ways, yet with disturbing outcomes (except for 2025 Valentin) that challenge the song’s hopeful attitude. This isn't a pleasant film to watch—despite MGM allusions in Aurora’s gaudy movie—but I hope you’ll give it serious consideration to be on your viewing agenda.
SHORT TAKES
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